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Madison Moore

About Madison Moore

http://resilienshe.co

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When You Don’t Like the Answer to “Who Is She?”: Meeting Yourself with Compassion Over Perfection

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This is the third post in the “Who Is She?” journal series. If you haven’t read the original post that started it all — This Single Journal Prompt Changed the Way I Talk to Myself Forever — start there. Then come back when you’re ready to go deeper.

What If You Don’t Like the Answer?

You sit down, pen in hand.
You write the prompt at the top of the page:
Who is she?

And the answer… stings.

She’s bitter.
She’s tired.
She’s avoiding the truth.
She’s over-functioning and under-nourished.
She’s not who you thought you’d be by now.

If that’s your honest answer, take a deep breath — and know this:

That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
It means you’re finally telling the truth.

The Lie of Perfection

We live in a culture that rewards performance over presence. It teaches us to only share the polished versions of ourselves — the motivated self, the magnetic self, the self who’s already healed.

But journaling isn’t for the highlight reel.
It’s for what’s real.

So when you don’t like the version of “her” you meet on the page, that doesn’t mean she’s bad or broken. It means she’s undeniably human — layered, complex, honest.

And that?
That’s where healing starts.

You Don’t Need to Be Proud of Her — You Just Need to Be With Her

Sometimes self-growth feels like a trap. The more you know, the worse it feels to admit you’re struggling.

But here’s what no one tells you:

You don’t need to feel proud of “her” in order to stand beside her.
You don’t need to love every piece of her to offer her your compassion.

Compassion isn’t the reward for getting it right.
It’s the bridge for when everything feels wrong.

So if the version of you on the page is bitter, burned out, checked out, or hard to face — try sitting beside her instead of standing above her.

Try This: A Journaling Reframe

Let’s gently walk through the discomfort. Here’s a practice that can help:

Step 1: Acknowledge the truth
Write down exactly who she is right now — no edits, no judgment.

Step 2: Write one line of compassion
“She’s hurting, but she’s still trying.”
“She doesn’t like what she sees — but she’s still looking.”
“She feels lost, but she’s still writing.”

Step 3: Ask: “What does she need most right now?”
Not to fix her. Just to hear her.

That’s it. No perfection. No pressure. Just presence.

The Courage to See Clearly

It takes real courage to admit you don’t love where you are.
But it also takes real power to stay with yourself through it.

Every woman who’s become someone she’s proud of started with an honest reckoning — a version of herself she didn’t like, but refused to abandon.

That’s what this prompt is for.
That’s what this work is for.
Not to shape you into a better version of yourself. But to walk beside you until you remember:
You’re already worthy. You’re already whole. You’re already becoming.

Remember This:

If “Who is she?” leads to an answer you’re not proud of —
That doesn’t mean stop.
It means start there.

Because that version of you, right now — she’s the one who needs love the most. And when you love her — not for what she does, but simply because she is — you set her free to become someone new.

Keep Going.

You don’t have to be proud of her yet.
But you can promise to stay.

And that promise?
That’s the beginning of everything.

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How to Decode Your ‘Who Is She?’ Journal Prompt Answer

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If you’ve tried the “Who Is She?” journal prompt already, you know it’s not just any self-reflection question.

It’s the one that catches you off guard.
The one that stays with you.

“She’s confident.”
“She’s soft.”
“She has boundaries.”
“She doesn’t beg for rest—she builds a life around it.”

However you answered, your words weren’t random. They were revelations—clues about where you are, what you need, and who you’re becoming.

This post is your gentle guide to unpack what your answer says about you—and how to use it to align your present with your future self.

Start Here: If You Haven’t Written Your Answer Yet

Before decoding anything, pause and give yourself the space to answer:

“Who is she?”

Write freely. No pressure to sound polished.
No one’s grading this. You’re simply meeting the version of you who’s already waiting in the wings.

Why This Prompt Matters

This question works because it bypasses your logical brain and taps into your intuition.
It doesn’t ask what you do.
It asks who you are becoming.

And that’s a big difference.

Your answer contains language that reveals your emotional needs, unspoken dreams, and areas of tension between your current life and your desired one.

It’s about remembering who you were before the world told you who to be.

What Your Answer Might Reveal

Let’s break down some common themes from hundreds of “Who Is She?” answers and what they might reveal about where you are in your journey:

If You Wrote:

“She’s calm. She’s gentle. She slows down.”

 You may be healing from hustle culture, burnout, or survival mode.
Your nervous system is craving safety.
Your version of success is being rewritten to include peace instead of pressure.

Affirmation: I don’t have to earn rest. I am worthy of a life that feels good.

If You Wrote:

“She’s bold. She takes up space. She speaks her truth.”

You might be shedding people-pleasing habits and stepping into your full expression.
This is a sign of awakening personal power.

Affirmation: My voice is valuable. Taking up space isn’t selfish—it’s sovereign.

If You Wrote:

“She glows. She’s magnetic. She doesn’t chase—she attracts.”

You’re craving alignment, not force.
You’re shifting from efforting to embodiment.
Your focus is no longer “doing more,” but being more of yourself.

Affirmation: I don’t chase, I align. I become magnetic by being real.

If You Wrote:

“She says no. She has boundaries. She protects her peace.”

You’ve likely been overextending yourself for far too long.
You’re ready to release martyrdom and self-sacrifice as default settings.

Affirmation: Boundaries aren’t walls—they are the architecture of self-respect.

If You Wrote:

“She has rituals. She feels grounded. She lives intentionally.”

You’re seeking rhythm, routine, and stability.
This is a call to reconnect with structure as support, not restriction.

Affirmation: Consistency creates clarity. Rituals return me to myself.

What If You Felt Stuck or Unsure?

That’s important data, too.

If you couldn’t answer, or your response felt vague, it may mean you’re:

  • Disconnected from your desires

  • Overwhelmed with decision fatigue

  • Living in reaction instead of intention

You’re not broken. You’re busy surviving.
Start gently. Sit with the question daily for a week, even if your answer changes every time.
That is the process.

How to Use This Prompt Over and Over Again

“Who is she?” isn’t a one-time prompt. It’s a practice.
The more you ask, the more layers you reveal.

Try these variations:

  • Who is she when no one’s watching?

  • Who is she when she stops settling?

  • Who is she when she lets herself be seen?

Each version helps you peel back a different layer.

And the truth is: you already are her in tiny, quiet, powerful ways.

What You Learn From Her Is Yours to Keep

You don’t need a five-year plan.
You just need a five-minute moment of honesty.

The version of you who…

  • trusts herself

  • makes aligned decisions

  • stops proving and starts embodying

…is closer than you think.

The “Who Is She?” prompt isn’t about becoming someone better.
It’s about finally becoming her.

Your next step isn’t about having it all figured out.
It’s about choosing to show up.
Soft. Scared. Real.

Because she’s not far away.
She’s already inside you.

Keep Exploring:

 

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The Perfect Journal Prompt for Women Who Want More Than Just Self-Care

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You sit down with your journal. Candle, lit. Coffee, made. Pen, poised. Your dedicated 6AM routine — one you’ve nurtured for months or years.

The intention is there — to reflect, to release, to reconnect with yourself.

But then… nothing. Of course this is the time your brain chooses to go radio silent.

Even the most dedicated journalers experience moments where the words just don’t flow. Not because there’s nothing going on — but because sometimes it’s hard to know where to start.

That’s where this one question comes in:

Who Is She?

At first glance, it’s deceptively simple. Who is she? But the truth is, this is a question that goes far deeper than most surface-level prompts. It doesn’t just ask what you’re doing today or how you feel. It asks you to hold up a mirror.

This question helps you:

  • Check in honestly with yourself in the present moment
  • Bridge your inner and outer world, aligning how you feel with how you show up
  • Recognize your evolution, by tracking who you were, who you are, and who you’re becoming
  • Build self-trust and resilience, by offering evidence of how far you’ve come — even when it doesn’t feel like it

This prompt becomes a self-assessment, a love letter, and a milestone marker all at once. It doesn’t require you to fix or change anything — it simply asks that you see yourself clearly, without judgment.

Whether you’re trying to build a consistent journaling habit or looking for a tool to support your personal growth journey, this question will meet you exactly where you are. This simple prompt has the power to unlock the most honest, transformative conversations you can have with yourself, and I’m going to show you how.

The Neuroscience Behind Speaking About Yourself as “She”

One of the most quietly powerful parts of asking, “Who is she?” is the subtle shift in language — speaking about yourself in the third person. It might seem like a stylistic choice. But it’s actually a neuroscientific strategy for emotional clarity.

This practice draws on what researchers call distanced self-talk — the act of referring to yourself by your name or as “she” instead of “I.” And while it may feel a bit unusual at first, this small tweak can unlock massive emotional relief and insight.

Why This Prompt Works

When we speak in first-person (“I feel anxious,” “I don’t know what to do”), we’re deep inside the emotion. There’s no separation between us and the storm we’re experiencing.

But when we shift and say,

“She is feeling anxious.”
“She’s navigating a hard choice right now.”
“She is trying, even when she’s tired.”

Suddenly, something opens up.

That subtle shift creates a sliver of distance — enough for the brain to move out of reactive mode and into reflective mode. We gain space to see ourselves with compassion instead of criticism, wisdom instead of worry, and grace instead of guilt.

And here’s the best part: this is not just a journaling trick. It’s backed by science.

The Research Behind the Shift

Psychologists have studied this phenomenon extensively. Their research shows that:

  • Speaking in third person reduces emotional reactivity. It creates psychological distance that lets you observe your thoughts more objectively.
  • It improves problem-solving and coping skills. When you step back, you gain clarity and can access wiser, calmer inner dialogue.
  • It increases self-compassion. You talk to yourself the way you’d talk to someone you love.

When to Use This Prompt

This prompt is versatile, accessible, and incredibly grounding. Here are just a few moments when it can guide you back to clarity:

  • When you don’t know what to write. Let this question break the silence and get the ink flowing.
  • When you’re feeling stuck. Use it as a mirror to name what’s got you feeling stuck and where you are mentally or emotionally.
  • When you’re emotionally overwhelmed. Let the prompt help you name and make space for what you’re feeling.
  • When you want to track your growth. Regular check-ins with this prompt build a powerful record of your resilience (let’s talk about that later).
  • When you’re doing shadow work or deep inner reflection. It invites unfiltered honesty, even with parts of yourself you’ve avoided.
  • When you’re celebrating yourself. Use it to acknowledge progress, power, joy, and the parts of you that deserve more light.

It’s not a prompt that requires a “right” answer. It simply opens a door — and gives you the courage to walk through it.

How to Use This in Your Journaling Practice

You don’t have to write in third person all the time. But when emotions feel tangled, overwhelming, or hard to hold, this shift can give you the clarity and calm your nervous system is craving.

Here’s a simple three-step practice to try:

1. Begin With Distance

Instead of “I,” start with:

  • “She is feeling…”
  • “She is trying…”
  • “She’s facing…”
    Let it flow from there.

2. Describe With Compassion

Don’t just state the facts — offer yourself warmth. Speak to yourself like a beloved friend or little sister you want to protect.

3. End With Honor

Close your entry by acknowledging her effort. For example:

“She doesn’t have all the answers, but she keeps showing up.”

What This Might Look Like in Practice

Imagine you’re overwhelmed. You feel stuck. You open your journal and instead of writing “I don’t know what I’m doing,” you pause and write:

“She is in the thick of it. She feels unsure, but she hasn’t given up. She’s searching for clarity, even if she doesn’t have it yet.”

Notice the tone? It’s gentler. More grounded. It honors your truth without drowning in it.

Here are a few more examples of how this might show up:

  • “She is grieving, but she’s also healing — quietly, bravely, one moment at a time.”
  • “She is softening her expectations. She is learning to rest without guilt.”
  • “She is daring to believe that she’s worthy of joy, not just survival.”

Notice that these aren’t perfect or polished. They’re raw. Human. Real. That’s the point. This prompt isn’t about performance — it’s about presence.

Over time, these small check-ins create a breadcrumb trail of your growth. They remind you of the strength you’ve built, the decisions you’ve made, the healing you’ve done — all in your own words.

The Healing Power of Third-Person Self-Talk

Because it should! We live in a culture that demands constant self-analysis. But rarely are we taught to witness ourselves kindly.
By stepping outside ourselves — just for a moment — we get to become our own mirror, guide, and safe place.

It’s not dissociation. It’s self-reclamation.

When you write about yourself as “she,” you practice:

  • Seeing without spiraling
  • Naming without shaming
  • Feeling without fracturing

And over time, you build a new relationship with yourself: one rooted in clarity, compassion, and deep inner respect.

Make It a Ceremony: Creating a Sacred Journaling Ritual

In a world that glorifies productivity and constant doing, choosing to sit with yourself — no distractions, no expectations — is a radical act of self-respect.

It’s devotion.

Here are a few ideas to to honor your “Who is she?” practice:

  • Light a candle. Let this act symbolize entering sacred space — the flame is for clarity, for courage, for being seen.
  • Play soft music or sit in silence. Choose whatever helps you drop into presence.
  • Make your drink of choice. Tea, coffee, cacao — something warm in your hands reminds your body that you’re safe here.
  • Choose a journal you love. Not just any notebook. One that feels beautiful and worthy of holding your story.
  • Sit in a designated space. A corner of your room. A windowsill. Somewhere that becomes yours, no matter how small.
  • Start with breath. Just three slow inhales and exhales before your pen hits the page can ground you in the here and now.

The time you spend getting to know yourself should feel sacred. Because you are sacred.

This is self-care beyond face masks and bubble baths. This is soul care. This is saying:

“I am worthy of my own time. My thoughts matter. My emotions are valid. I deserve to know myself.”

In carving out this time — whether it’s five minutes or fifty — you tell your mind, your body, and your heart:
I am listening. I am with you. I will not abandon you.

You become your own safe place.

And the more you show up, the more you’ll feel it:
You’re not just journaling.
You’re building a home within yourself.

Try It Today

Open your journal — or even the Notes app on your phone. Dat your entry. Write:

Who is she?

Speak kindly, honestly, without editing. Write as though you’re describing someone you love — someone you’re rooting for.
Because you are.

She is you — held clearly, compassionately, and powerfully.

If you’ve made it this far, you already care about knowing yourself more deeply. That means you’re already on the right path.

Save this post. Come back to it whenever you’re stuck.
This is your reset button.
Your check-in.
Your mirror.
Your moment.

She is becoming. And you are, too.

The Bibliotherapy Shelf

Science Digest

For Deeper Listening:

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Femme Energy, Unlocked: Why Every Woman Needs a DIY Photoshoot

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Here’s a little secret I didn’t expect to learn: the most fun, most empowering, most “oh my god, I actually love myself” moment I’ve had in months came from… a solo photoshoot in my living room.

No fancy camera. No professional setup. Just me, my phone on self-timer, and the unapologetic decision to see myself in a new light.

Spoiler: I didn’t just get a few cute pictures out of it. I walked away feeling more in tune with my femme energy, more creative, and honestly? A little bit in love with the woman I’m becoming.

Here’s how it went down—and why I think every woman should try this.

How to Feel Like That Girl: The Magic of a Solo Photoshoot

1. Dress Like Your Dream Girl

This is your chance to become her—the version of you who’s magnetic, fearless, and unapologetically feminine. Go all out: pick the outfits that make you feel like a goddess, a rockstar, a CEO, a romantic poet—whatever your vibe is.

The goal? To see the woman you’re becoming while also honoring the woman you are right now.

I gave myself full permission to play dress-up.

  • That new contouring technique I’ve been meaning to try? Tried it.
  • The big, bold outfit I’ve had not where to take it? Wore it.
  • A bold lip, soft curls, a spritz of perfume… because why not romanticize yourself?

2. Let it Get Messy (In the Best Way)

This is not about nailing the perfect pose for the ‘Gram. It’s about exploring: your angles, your energy, your essence. Get creative, play with your space, try bold ideas, and when you start to feel frustrated (because yeah, it happens), pause. Take a deep breath and remember why you’re doing this:

✨ To feel human.
✨ To feel woman.
✨ To remember how freaking amazing you are.

To tell the truth, at first, I felt awkward. Where do I look? How do I pose? Should I be sultry or soft?

But when I let go of the need for a “perfect shot” and gave myself permission to just play—that’s when the fun started.

I tried different angles. Twirled in my pants suit. Smiled, pouted, gave the camera side-eye.

And somewhere in that process, I stopped seeing “flaws” and started seeing… possibility.

3. Your Inner Critic? She’s Not Invited.

The most important part of this? Have fun. From picking out your outfits to curating your playlist to figuring out how to prop your phone on a stack of books, let this be a playful, no-pressure experience.

For me, this was an unexpected lesson in self-love: I saw a woman who’s willing to try new things, who knows she’s got greatness in her, who loves herself fiercely, and who’s not afraid to take up space.

I wasn’t aiming for a Maxim cover (although hey, never say never)—but I got some fire shots, updated my profile pic, and realized:

I’m kind of a vibe.

4. Femme Energy = Self Worship

Spending an entire day devoted to making myself feel beautiful was the ultimate self-care. It wasn’t just about the photos—it was about seeing myself in new, unexpected ways. The woman in those photos? She’s bold, radiant, and becoming.

So if you’ve been feeling disconnected from your femme energy, consider this your sign:

Plan a solo photoshoot.
Dress like your highest self.
Play.
Create.
Worship yourself.

And don’t be surprised when you walk away feeling like an absolute goddess.

So, Should You Try This?

1000% yes.

Here’s your permission slip to book a solo photoshoot—no fancy camera, no pro photographer, no rules. Just you, your vision, and your femme energy waiting to be seen.

Dress like the woman you want to become. Play. Pose. Laugh. Take a break when the inner critic shows up (because she will), and come back when you’re ready.

This is your time to worship yourself.

Because when you take the time to see yourself fully—through a lens of love, curiosity, and play—you’ll be amazed at the woman staring back at you.

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Tiny Habits, Big Reset: Easy Self-Care for Burned-Out Women

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I used to believe that self-care needed to be grand to matter: a weekend away, a perfectly timed yoga class, a skincare routine with 10+ steps and a candle burning in the background. But then, life got busy — really busy. 

But then I read Atomic Habits by James Clear. His concept of getting 1% better every day felt simple — maybe even too simple — but it completely shifted my mindset. As a high-achieving woman, I’ve always been wired for all-or-nothing thinking. If I couldn’t fully commit, I wouldn’t bother starting.

And that’s how burnout creeps in.

What helped me move from ambition fatigue to resilient, gentle progress wasn’t a retreat or a sabbatical — it was micro-habits.

So if you’re feeling unsure when or where to start implementing self-care into your busy routine, start here. 

Why Micro Habits Work (Especially for Overachievers)

When you’re in a season of pushing deadlines, climbing ladders, or managing all the spinning plates of life, small acts of self-care become lifelines.

Micro habits:

  • Reduce overwhelm
  • Require minimal decision-making
  • Work with your energy levels, not against them
  • Create compounding results (without burning out your bandwidth)

They don’t feel life-changing when you start — but they are.

10 Micro Self-Care Habits (That Take Less Than 5 Minutes)

These aren’t spa days or Instagram-perfect routines. They’re tiny but powerful pauses that help you regulate, reset, and return to yourself — fast.

1. Do a 60-Second Breath Reset

Set a timer. Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 6 — repeat for one minute. Sounds simple, right? That’s the beauty of it. This tiny reset gives your nervous system the signal: You are safe. You are grounded. In a world that runs on caffeine and cortisol, this is your moment to step out of fight-or-flight and into calm and clarity.

2. Send a Text Message to a Friend

Social connection is one of the most underutilized yet powerful tools for emotional resilience. A quick “thinking of you” to your sister, college roommate, or work bestie doesn’t just brighten their day — it shifts your focus from pressure to presence. Relationships are soft places to land, even in the busiest seasons.

3. Write One Line in a Journal

You don’t need to be poetic. Just be honest. Ask yourself: “What do I need right now?” or “One thing I’m grateful for today?” This tiny pause creates awareness — and awareness is the root of all change. Bonus: over time, these one-liners build a breadcrumb trail of insight back to yourself.

4. Swap Doomscrolling for a 2-Minute Read

Let’s be real — opening TikTok “for a second” often becomes 40 minutes. But what if, instead, you had a folder of uplifting reads or quotes you actually want to absorb? Trade digital spirals for digital sunshine. Even a 2-minute scroll through wisdom can reset your mindset and reconnect you with purpose.

5. Put Your Phone in Another Room for 5 Minutes

Creating digital distance even briefly helps your brain breathe. When your phone is out of sight, you naturally return to your own rhythm. It’s not about the time — it’s about the space. Let your nervous system recalibrate, even just for five minutes.

6. Go For a Walk

A walk isn’t just movement — it’s momentum. Step away from your screen, walk around the block, or loop the halls at work. This physical transition helps your brain reset, your body recharge, and your focus return. The science is clear: we retain and recall better when we allow pauses between sprints.

7. Schedule Time for Anti-Work

Yes, literally schedule it. Block it off in your calendar like any other meeting. Anti-work might mean a coffee run, a solo bookstore wander, or a walk without your phone. When you intentionally disrupt the grind, you make room for perspective, creativity, and real-life joy. Your calendar should reflect your values — not just your output.

8. Sip a Cup of Herbal Tea with No Screens

There’s something quietly rebellious about sipping tea and doing absolutely nothing else. No emails. No scrolling. Just you, the warmth, and the flavor. It’s a hug in a mug — one that tells your overworked nervous system, “You can soften now.”

9. Stretch Your Neck, Shoulders & Wrists

Ambitious women often carry invisible weight — tension, pressure, expectations. It shows up in your body long before it hits your inbox. A few slow shoulder rolls or wrist circles at your desk are more than physical; they’re symbolic. A reminder that you don’t have to hold everything all the time.

10. Say Something Kind to Yourself Out Loud

Let it be awkward. Let it be soft. But say it. “I’m proud of you.” “You’re doing better than you think.” When we externalize kindness — especially in our own voice — we rewire the internal dialogue that often defaults to criticism. Speaking compassion helps it stick.

The Compound Effect of Micro Self-Care

What started as a few small shifts in my own life — a daily 1-line journal entry, a nightly skincare ritual, prioritizing water over caffeine — eventually grew into non-negotiable rituals that now keep me grounded, especially when life is most chaotic.

These habits became anchors during my PhD defense, during high-pressure work deadlines, and even while building this very blog.

If you’ve been putting off self-care because “there’s no time,” let this post be your sign that you do have time — 5 minutes or less, in fact.

Start with just one habit today. Show up for yourself in a soft, small way. It will grow.

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Ambition Burnout: When Your Dream Life Doesn’t Feel Like Yours

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You’ve climbed the mountain.

You’ve sacrificed sleep, sanity, and sometimes even your joy — all in pursuit of a dream. And now you’re at the top, but something’s missing.

You’re not alone. resilienSHE is a space created for strong, high-achieving women who have built their success by trial, endurance, and sheer will — only to realize that fulfillment isn’t waiting at the finish line, only emotional burnout and ambition fatigue.

This is your invitation to realign. To build a life rooted in joy, sustainable habits, and self-compassion — starting from within.

Why Success Feels Empty for So Many Women

You’ve done what they told you to do:
Get the degree. Land the role. Hustle hard. And yet, instead of feeling proud and fulfilled, you feel… depleted.

That’s not weakness. That’s a signal.

Many women who are praised for their resilience are actually operating in survival mode. They’ve learned to function through stress, suppress their needs, and tie their worth to achievement — often without realizing it.

But the truth is:

You are not broken. You are just ready for something deeper.

You are meant to be and become so many things. But complacent and stagnant do not belong on that list.

The resilienSHE Reframe — From Survival to Alignment

Resilience is not about enduring more pain or pushing harder.

It’s about shifting the narrative.

 This space, this collective, is for women who are:

  • Learning to detach self-worth from success
  • Choosing rest and realignment over burnout and busyness
  • Seeking to enjoy life outside of work
  • Replacing scarcity thinking with abundance and kindness
  • Practicing sustainable goal-setting, where the focus is the starting line — the intention — not just the result

We don’t need to prove our resilience anymore. We’ve already earned it. Now, we get to decide how to use it.

4 Practices to Begin Realignment Today:

1. Ditch the “To-Do” List — Try a “To-Be” List
List who you want to be today (e.g., calm, open, kind). This subtle shift helps decouple worth from output.

2. Schedule Joy Like a Meeting
Plan 15–30 minutes of something non-productive each day: a walk, painting, reading. Joy is not a reward — it’s fuel.

3. The Inner Mentor Exercise
Instead of listening to your inner critic, write down what your future, wiser self would say to you today. Reconnect with your internal compass.

4. Practice Self-Compassion Scripts
Create a statement to repeat when you feel overwhelmed, like: “I am allowed to slow down. I am already enough.”

The resilienSHE Woman — Who She Is

She’s powerful.
She’s been through it.
She’s climbed mountains no one saw and survived battles no one clapped for.
And now, she’s not chasing more — she’s choosing better.

The ResilienSHE woman is learning to:

  • Soften without losing strength
  • Succeed without sacrificing herself
  • Live fully, not just function efficiently
  • Build dreams from a place of alignment, not urgency

She knows the real flex is peace — not pressure.

Join the resilienSHE collective

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Mapping the Life You Want: A vision website to design your dream life!  

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As a high-functioning perfectionist, I’ve come to realize something: manifestation is actually my superpower. I’m constantly shaping and molding scenarios in my mind, crafting the perfect outcomes and solutions for whatever situation I’m facing. Sound familiar?

Think about it—how often do you mentally rehearse conversations, visualize the flawless execution of a project, or set expectations so high that reality has no choice but to stumble short? (If you’re nodding, trust me, you’re not alone.)

I once planned a weekend getaway with such precision, down to the color-coded itinerary, that when we missed one brunch reservation, it felt like the entire trip was ruined. My mind had painted this flawless masterpiece of the “perfect weekend,” and life dared to color outside the lines. But here’s the thing: all that mental planning and energy? It’s power. And that power can be redirected.

From To-Do Lists to True Alignment

For years, my life revolved around to-do lists. If it was on the list, it had to be crossed off—no matter the cost. I’d schedule my week to the hour, meticulously plotting time for every task. Sound obsessive? Maybe. But isn’t that manifestation in its purest form?

We take thoughts, pair them with actions, and bring them to life.

Once I realized this, I started asking myself bigger “what if?” questions.

  • What if I redirected this energy toward becoming the best version of myself?
  • What if I stopped setting unattainable goals for everything except my own well-being?

This wasn’t an overnight revelation—it took years of therapy, trial and error, and moments of tough self-reflection. But slowly, I began to shift.

My Manifestation Reset

Here’s how I started using my perfectionist tendencies for growth:

  1. I Got Honest About What I Want
    I stopped pretending to be okay with things that didn’t serve me. I let go of relationships where I felt the need to shrink myself. I prioritized what I wanted—not what others expected of me. 
  2. I Practiced Self-Kindness
    The mirror used to be a place of harsh judgment, but I began speaking kindly to my reflection—even on bad days. I’m still working on turning my inner critic into an inner coach. 
  3. I Allowed Myself to Be a Beginner
    This is by far the hardest thing I still encounter. As a scientist, I leaned into logic and reason, dismissing creativity as frivolous. Everything had to be meticulously planned, well-thought out, and executed with precision. These hyper-unrealistic expectations were so damaging, I couldn’t bring myself to pick up any hobbies out of fear of not being perfect from the get-go. Being in a beginner mindset means being kind to yourself and letting go of what I consider “failure.” 

And now? I’m a 27-year-old PhD scientist, standing at the crossroads of reinvention, finally living for me.

Take Your Manifestation to the Next Level

Ready to harness your superpower? Let me share my favorite tool for clarity and focus: a vision website.

It’s like a vision board but better—dynamic, actionable, and entirely your own. Here’s how to create one:

Start by imagining the life you truly want—no limitations, no filters, and no “realistic” constraints. Picture it in vivid detail.

For me, success looks like becoming a bestselling author. I’m in a mountain retreat, where the crisp air smells of pine, and I’m sipping spiced tea (I don’t even drink spiced tea now, but future-me swears by it). Sunlight spills through a window onto my pages as I write, and I feel a deep sense of joy, freedom, and fulfillment. The setting is beautiful, yes, but what makes it powerful is the feeling: contentment and alignment with my purpose.

Now, here’s the hard part: You have to let go of every mental boundary you’ve built around yourself. That little voice whispering, “You can’t do that,” or “It’s too late for you,” is the same voice that’s kept you in a cycle of burnout and exhaustion. You’re not here to listen to her anymore.

Take my journey as proof that you can redefine success anytime. I’ve wanted to be a scientist since I was seven. SEVEN. Twenty years later, here I am—PhD in hand—but my vision of success has evolved. Now I dream of writing books that connect with people deeply. Some days, I laugh at myself for thinking too big. Other days, I’m proud of myself for daring to think bigger. But most days, I feel an overwhelming sense of freedom knowing that I get to define what success looks like for me.

My point is: success looks different for everyone, so it’s crucial to define what it means for you—without external pressure or comparison. 

Action Step:

  • Take a blank piece of paper or open a fresh document. Write the sentence: “If I could have any life I wanted, what would it look like?” Then answer it with no limits. Describe your ideal day, the work you do, the people you surround yourself with, and the feelings that fuel you.
  • Don’t judge your answers. Just write.

This exercise isn’t about the “how” yet—it’s about the “what.” The version of success that’s meaningful to you.

Design Your Digital Presence

You don’t need a big budget or a design degree to bring your vision to life. The best part? You can build this for free using platforms like WordPress, Canva, or even a simple Google Site (you don’t actually need to publish your website, but make sure to bookmark and make it accessible to you!). Think of this website as your digital manifestation board—a glimpse into your future life. Here are the essentials for how to get your vision website started:

1. Landing Page: Make a Bold Statement

This is the first thing visitors (and future-you) will see. Your landing page should set the tone for your entire vision.

  • Headline: Craft a one-liner that embodies your mission, your vibe, or your mantra. Think big and inspiring. For example:
    “Ambition Without Burnout: Achieve More, Live Fully” or “Empowering Women to Redefine Success on Their Own Terms.”
  • Visuals: Include a striking background image or bold graphic that reflects your future life. Maybe it’s a serene mountain retreat, a bustling city skyline, or even a snapshot of a dream office space.

2. About Section: Meet Your Future Self

Write your bio as if you’ve already achieved your wildest dreams. Let this section reflect your values, accomplishments, and the impact you want to make.

  • Start with Confidence: “Hi, I’m [Future You], a bestselling author, keynote speaker, and founder of [Your Dream Company]. My mission is to inspire women to lead bold, fulfilling lives without compromise.”
  • Highlight Key Wins: Mention the milestones you envision, such as publishing books, hosting retreats, or leading a global team.
  • Add Personality: Include hobbies or quirks your future self embraces, like “an avid traveler who’s visited 20 countries” or “a coffee aficionado with a flair for latte art.”

3. Portfolio: Display Your Dream Wins

This is where you showcase what you want to accomplish. Think of it as a highlight reel of your future successes.

  • Projects: Add mock-ups of the books, courses, or products you dream of creating. For instance, upload a Canva-designed book cover or an image of a product you’d like to launch.
  • Achievements: Create a section for imagined milestones, like “Spoke at TEDx” or “Featured in Forbes 30 Under 30.”
  • Testimonials: Add quotes from “future clients” or “readers” who rave about your impact. For example: “Her book changed my life!”

3. Add Inspiring Visuals

Think of your vision website as the mood board for your best self—a space where your future feels tangible. For high-achieving women—content creators, CEOs, public speakers, and top executives—your visuals should reflect ambition, power, and a life lived with intention.

Picture this:

  • A sleek corner office with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking a city skyline, where sunlight reflects off minimalist décor and a bookshelf filled with titles you’ve written or inspired.
  • A stage illuminated by spotlights, capturing you mid-speech in front of a captivated audience, your presence commanding the room.
  • A podcast studio with cutting-edge equipment and a gallery wall of signed memorabilia from guests who’ve shaped industries.
  • A jet-black notebook open on a marble desk, next to a latte in a handcrafted mug, symbolizing the quiet moments where big ideas take shape.
  • A private retreat villa overlooking the ocean, your laptop open to the draft of your latest project, while a vision board framed in gold rests on the wall behind you, filled with milestones already checked off.

Use visuals that evoke power and calm, ambition and balance. Include snapshots that inspire you to step into this future self every time you revisit your website.

4. Make It Actionable

Your vision website isn’t just a creative exercise—it’s a blueprint for your future-self, the best version of yourself. This space should reflect who you want to become, tailored to your unique standards of success. Here’s how to take this concept further:

Visualize Your Ideal Day

Start with this question: What does a perfect day in your dream life look like?

Get specific. Write it down as if you’re already living it:

  • Where are you? Is it a sleek corner office, a cozy home workspace, or a bustling café in Paris?
  • Who are you with? Business partners, clients, loved ones, or maybe just your dog at your feet.
  • What are you working on? Think passion projects, impactful collaborations, or groundbreaking innovations.
  • How do you feel? Centered, confident, energized, and fulfilled.

Ground yourself in the emotions of this vision. This exercise isn’t just imaginative—it’s foundational for creating alignment between where you are now and where you want to go.

Crafting Her Schedule

If you’re like me, you’re no stranger to having multiple calendars at once. Building the future-self version of your calendar should be as fun as it is intentional. Think of it as mapping her daily rhythm—balanced, ambitious, and rejuvenating. Here’s how to design it:

  1. Define Her Work Rhythm:

  • Ambitious Weekdays:
    • Morning: Early workout or mindfulness practice, followed by high-priority creative or strategic work.
    • Midday: Power meetings or collaborative sessions.
    • Afternoon: Focus on growth tasks like writing, planning, or networking.
  • Evenings: Relaxation, hobbies, or reading to recharge.
  • Balanced Weekends:
    • Block off time for family, self-care, or passion projects.
    • Leave one evening for quiet reflection or journaling about the week.

  1. Highlight Rest Periods:

    Even your super successful, highly-demanded future self prioritizes rest. Schedule it for her! How does she recharge and what are her non-negotiable down-time commitments? You know her best, think:

  • One tech-free evening per week.
  • Quarterly “me days” where work is off-limits.
  • Yearly retreats to reset and refocus.

Tools to Bring Her Schedule to Life

Your vision website’s schedule should feel alive and dynamic. Here’s how:

Mock Calendar:
Create a visual representation of her week using tools like Google Calendar, Canva, or Notion.

    • Use aspirational placeholders like:
      • “Morning Mindset Ritual.”
      • “Keynote Speech at [Event Name].”
      • “Evening Yoga & Reflection.”
    • Highlight rest days or family time with distinct colors for balance and clarity.
  • Future-Looking Projects:
    Include visionary placeholders like:
    • “Keynote Speech at [Event Name].”
    • “Author Signing at [City].”
    • “Launch of [Product/Service].”

By building your future-self’s schedule with intention, you’ll create a life roadmap that feels inspiring yet realistic. She’s everything you’re working toward becoming, living a life fully aligned with your definition of success. And step by step, as you embody her, she’ll transition from vision to reality.

Here’s the truth: your big picture is built one small, intentional step at a time. It’s not about making massive leaps overnight.

It’s about consistently showing up for the life you want to create. 

Whether you’ve crafted your vision website, defined your dream day, or simply entertained the idea of what’s possible for your future—you’re already further along than you think.

Call to Action: Start Small, Dream Big

Today, I challenge you to take just one tiny step toward the big picture:

  • Write down one thing your future self would do daily. Try to do it once this week.
  • Open Canva or WordPress and create the first draft of your vision website—it doesn’t have to be perfect, just started.
  • Block off 30 minutes this weekend to journal about what success means to you.

The power isn’t in perfection; it’s in momentum. Every small action is a vote for the person you’re becoming.

So, what will you do today to get closer to her? Take the tiniest step forward, and trust that the ripple effect will carry you toward a life that feels big, bold, and completely yours.

Let’s make her real—one step, one action, and one choice at a time.

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A Perfectionist’s Superpower: Manifestation (How to turn your high standards into magic)

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Perfectionists get a bad rap. We’re told we need to “let go,” “relax,” and “stop overthinking.” But what if the very traits that make us perfectionists—our relentless drive, attention to detail, and sky-high standards—are actually the secret ingredients to something extraordinary? What if, instead of fighting against our nature, we could use it to manifest our biggest dreams?

Welcome to the intersection of perfectionism and manifestation—a space where science meets magic, where mindset meets neuroscience, and where high achievers can harness their perfectionism to create the life they truly desire.

The Science of Manifestation: More Than Just Wishful Thinking

Manifestation has become a buzzword, often reduced to vision boards and positive affirmations. But at its core, manifestation is about aligning your thoughts, behaviors, and environment in a way that makes your goals inevitable.

Our brain is constantly reshaping itself based on what we focus on—a phenomenon known as neuroplasticity. The Reticular Activating System (RAS), a bundle of neurons in the brainstem, filters out irrelevant information and helps us notice what’s important. In other words, when we set a clear intention, our brain literally rewires itself to find opportunities that align with it.

Perfectionists, by nature, are already wired to focus intensely on their goals. We obsess, we analyze, we refine. Instead of seeing this as a flaw, we can use it as fuel.

Perfectionism as a Manifestation Tool

Most perfectionists struggle with the dark side of their trait—self-doubt, imposter syndrome, or the constant fear of not being “good enough.” But when channeled correctly, perfectionism can become a manifestation powerhouse. Here’s how:

1. Precision in Vision: Getting Crystal Clear

One of the biggest mistakes people make when manifesting is being vague. They say things like, “I want success” or “I want more money,” but they don’t define what that actually looks like.

Perfectionists excel at clarity. We love details. We thrive on specifics. Instead of saying, “I want a fulfilling career,” we map out exactly what that career entails, down to the daily schedule, the office vibe, and the projects we’re passionate about. This level of precision sends a stronger signal to our brain and to the universe about what we truly desire.

2. Structured Action: Turning Dreams into a System

Many people fall into the trap of “manifestation without action”—wishing for things but not actually doing anything differently. Perfectionists, on the other hand, love a good plan. We thrive on structure, checklists, and progress tracking.

Once you have a clear vision, create an action plan. Reverse-engineer your goal: What daily habits, skills, or connections do you need to cultivate? The key is to take small, consistent steps that align with your desired outcome.

Manifestation Tip: Use the implementation intention technique: Instead of saying, “I want to start a business,” say, “Every Monday at 7 AM, I will spend one hour working on my business plan.” This links your goal to a concrete action.

3. Emotional Regulation: Mastering the Energy of Success

One of the biggest blockers of manifestation is doubt. Neuroscience shows that when we feel fear, our amygdala (the brain’s fear center) hijacks our ability to think creatively and recognize opportunities.

Perfectionists are prone to self-criticism, but we can use this awareness to our advantage. Instead of letting fear paralyze us, we can learn to reframe it. Neuroscientific research suggests that shifting from “I’m afraid” to “I’m excited” activates the same physiological response but reorients the brain towards possibility rather than threat.

Manifestation Tip: When doubt creeps in, practice cognitive reframing. Instead of saying, “I’ll never be good enough,” shift to, “I am in the process of becoming exceptional.”

4. The Power of Persistence: Outlasting Resistance

Many people give up on manifestation because they don’t see instant results. But perfectionists? We’re built for the long game. We refine, adjust, and iterate until we get it right.

This persistence is gold. Research shows that the brain’s ability to form new neural pathways (neuroplasticity) depends on repetition. The more we focus on something—whether it’s a skill, a mindset, or a belief—the more ingrained it becomes in our brain.

Manifestation Tip: Track your progress. Keep a “wins” journal where you document every small success, reinforcing your belief that manifestation is working.

Balancing Perfectionism with Flow

While perfectionism can be a manifestation superpower, it also needs balance. Too much control can create rigidity, and the best manifestations often require a blend of **intention and surrender**—a concept that cognitive neuroscientists describe as the “flow state.”

To cultivate flow, practice:

– Gratitude: Acknowledge progress rather than fixating on what’s missing.

– Detachment: Set high standards but release the need for a perfect outcome.

– Curiosity: Instead of seeing obstacles as failures, view them as feedback.

Own Your Perfectionism & Manifest with Confidence

Perfectionism isn’t a flaw—it’s an asset. When we harness our high standards with intentionality, structure, and emotional resilience, we can manifest extraordinary things. Science backs it up. Neuroscience confirms it. And countless high achievers prove it.

So, instead of resisting your perfectionism, lean into it. Use your precision, structure, and persistence as tools to create the reality you desire. Perfectionism and manifestation aren’t opposites—they’re partners in designing a life that feels like magic.

Ready to manifest like a perfectionist? Start today. Define your vision. Take aligned action. Rewire your brain. And watch the magic unfold.

You’ve got this. Now go do your thing.

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Survival Mode Is Not a Personality Trait: Recognizing and Escaping the Hustle Loop

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Burnout doesn’t happen overnight—it’s a slow unraveling. It threads its way into your life often so subtly that you don’t recognize it until you’re physically, emotionally, and mentally drained. It fractures your ambitions, dulls your goals, and leaves exhaustion, frustration, and emotional detachment to settle in.

If you’ve been feeling overextended, uninspired, or stuck in an unrelenting cycle of productivity and hustle, you might be somewhere on the burnout spectrum. 

Recognizing where you stand in this cycle isn’t just about recovery—it’s about self-mastery. The sooner you identify the signs, the sooner you can course-correct and build habits that align with your long-term goals without sacrificing your well-being. Because burnout shouldn’t be the cost of success.

Let’s break down the five stages of burnout, how to recognize them, and what to do next.

Stage 1: The Overachiever’s High

What It Looks Like:

– You are sharp, driven, and deeply committed to excellence—perhaps obsessively so. 

– Your calendar is meticulously color-coded, planned out weeks or months in advance, and filled with back-to-back commitments. 

– “No” isn’t in your vocabulary. You take on every challenge, every opportunity, every responsibility because you are determined to prove yourself. 

– Your identity is intertwined with achievement—you thrive in high-performance environments and expect nothing less from yourself. 

Warning Signs:

– Rest feels unproductive—so you push through fatigue, assuming you’ll “slow down later.” 

– You feel uneasy when you’re not accomplishing something.

– Your validation comes from external metrics: titles, accolades, or recognition.

– Your self-worth is tethered to productivity, and downtime feels like a liability. 

What to Do Now:

High achievers often dismiss early signs of burnout because they equate relaxation with weakness. This leads to long periods of chronic stress. But sustainability is the foundation of long-term success. Begin setting intentional boundaries now—before your body forces you to. 

Stage 2: The Slow Burn

What It Looks Like:

– Work starts feeling heavier. Tasks take more effort than they used to. 

– You start cutting corners on self-care—less sleep, more caffeine, skipping meals. 

– Frustration builds, but you push through, ignoring the signs. 

Warning Signs:

– Irritability—small things start getting under your skin. 

-You start resenting your work or responsibilities.

– Your energy crashes in waves, but you keep pushing through. 

What to Do Now:

Recognize that rest is not a reward—it’s a requirement. Schedule in breaks, even if it feels uncomfortable. Rethink about the bigger picture, remind yourself what your goals are and if your current situation is aligned with the destination.

Stage 3: The Breaking Point

What It Looks Like:

– You’re running on fumes, constantly exhausted no matter how much you sleep. 

– Motivation is gone. You feel detached from work, relationships, and even your passions. 

– Self-doubt and negative thoughts creep in—you start questioning your worth. 

Warning Signs:

– Brain fog and forgetfulness 

– Feeling emotionally numb or detached

– Increased self-criticism or imposter syndrome

-You can’t remember the last time you reached out to your friends

What to Do Now: 

It’s time to pause, reflect, and reset.  Now is the time to start implementing small changes to avoid burnout from settling in. Seek support—talk to someone who understands.

Stage 4: Full-On Burnout

What It Looks Like:

– You feel completely drained—mentally, physically, and emotionally.

– You start withdrawing from friends, family, and even the things you once loved. 

– Your body starts reacting—chronic headaches, digestive issues, sleep problems. 

Warning Signs:

– Constant anxiety or panic attacks

– Feeling like no matter what you do, it’s never enough

– Dreading your day before it even starts

What to Do Now:

You need deep rest and recovery. This is not the time for “pushing through.” Prioritize therapy, support groups, and radical self-care.

Recovery & Realignment

What It Looks Like:

– You start redefining success, rest, and balance on your own terms. 

– You let go of the guilt around slowing down.

– You create new habits that prioritize your well-being first. 

What You Might Struggle With:

– Feeling like you’re “falling behind” (you’re not). 

– Resisting the urge to overcommit again.

– Learning how to trust yourself and your new pace.

Key Shifts in Recovery:

Saying NO without guilt 

Setting boundaries to protect your energy 

Learning to celebrate progress, not just achievement 

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How Burnout Cost Me Millions—And Taught Me The True Price Of Success

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I started my PhD at 21. At the time, it felt like the obvious choice. I loved learning, and everyone said, “Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Following that advice, I dove straight into a PhD program after my bachelor’s degree.

Halfway through, I found myself immersed in research on how the gut microbiome responded to dietary changes. My work on probiotics, combined with my mentor’s expertise in prebiotics, positioned us to create groundbreaking symbiotic products. It was an exciting time—gut health was gaining traction, and we had a clear market advantage.

By the end of my program, I was juggling teaching responsibilities, lab research, dissertation writing, and the nerve-wracking process of preparing for my defense. On top of that, I was co-founding a startup. My days were filled with meetings with patent attorneys, regulatory consultants, and tech licensing experts. Deadlines loomed for clinical trials, regulatory approvals, and setting up a food production facility.

At 26, I was on track to earn my PhD, co-own a startup projected to be worth millions, and be recognized as an inventor of valuable biotechnology. On paper, it looked perfect.

I made it through my defense, and at 27, I became Dr. Madison Moore. It should have been a moment of triumph—a culmination of years of relentless effort. But instead of celebrating, I woke up the next day and went right back to work.

I deprived myself of the chance to truly acknowledge my accomplishments. Without the all-consuming pursuit that had defined my life for five years, I was left with an emptiness I didn’t understand at first. Looking back, I realized I’d become co-dependent with the end goal—so fixated on achieving it that I barely came up for air. I didn’t look around, explore, or appreciate the process.

If you’ve ever tied your self-worth a little too tightly to your career goals, you probably know this feeling. I earned my PhD at 27 years old—a dream I’d dedicated my life to—and I still couldn’t stop to celebrate. Five years of sacrifices, sleepless nights, and relentless work, yet I couldn’t recognize my own success. If earning a PhD didn’t warrant self-celebration, what would?

I fell into a deep depression. The emptiness I felt wasn’t just about finishing the program; it was about continuing to push forward at the same relentless pace, now with the startup company. I told myself it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity—a stepping stone to my career dreams. But while I was chasing that dream, my body and mind were breaking down. I started having random outbursts of tears, meltdowns over insignificant things, and moments of unprovoked rage toward the people who’d stood by me all along. I was bitter, angry, and unraveling.

This lasted about a month. Eventually I hit a breaking point. It wasn’t dramatic, with tears and shouting. It was quieter, but no less devastating: a total mental shutdown. I dissociated entirely. I physically couldn’t get out of bed. I had no energy to shower, brush my teeth, or eat. And worst of all, I didn’t care. I was completely checked out.

That’s when my husband gently suggested I might need professional help—help beyond what he could provide. That moment was a gut punch. Holy. Shit.

Even in my dissociated state, I had to face the brutal truth: I had let things get this bad. You’d think that realization would have been my turning point. That I’d decide then and there to prioritize myself, set boundaries, and finally take care of my needs. But I didn’t. I kept working for another month, torn between the fear of what I’d lose if I left and the undeniable reality that I couldn’t keep going.

On paper, leaving meant giving up a head start on my career and a potential multi-million-dollar payday. It felt like starting over, throwing away everything I’d worked so hard to build. But deep down, I knew the truth: staying the course would destroy me. I might reach the finish line, but I’d arrive completely and utterly alone. My body had been warning me for months, and it was time to listen.

Leaving the company was the hardest decision I’ve ever made. It felt like a betrayal—not just to my mentor but to the future self I’d imagined. Hand-delivering my resignation was terrifying. The blow was made worse when I realized no one fought to keep me. All the blood, sweat, and tears I’d poured into the company—and no one even tried to change my mind.

That was the moment it hit me: no one was ever going to fight for me. I had to do that for myself. And up until then, I hadn’t.

Burnout may have cost me a multi-million-dollar payday. More importantly, it cost me my sense of self. Today, I’m in a starting scientist position at a global biotech company learning what work:life balance looks like for me. For the first time, I’m learning how to fight for what I need, not just what the world expects of me. I have no regrets—but I’ve got one hell of a healing journey ahead of me.